Are you struggling to get started coaching your peers?
What might be the cause of this? Lets look at this from two possible sources.
THEM – THE TARGET OF THE COACHING
They don’t they don’t seem want coaching
REASON 1: THEY DON’T THINK THEY NEED COACHING
Remember, its unlikely you will be able to coach anyone who doesn’t want to learn or be coached.
Tip: Move on
REASON 2: THEY DON’T WANT YOU TO COACH THEM
Again, you won’t be succesful at coachign someone that doesn’t want you to coach them. You might ask yourself why this is. Is there something in the relationship that means they feel uncomfortable? Is it that they see themselves better than you, or that you’re not credible enough in the job to teach? Or perhaps they have experienced too much advice and feedback from you.
Tip: Find someone that they are happy to have help them.
REASON 3: THEY’RE NOT INTERESTED IN LEARNING WHAT YOU WANT TO HELP THEM WITH
You can’t coach someone that doesn’t want to learn what you’re offering. People often want an easy way out, (just give me what I need!) particularly if they don’t see this is something they will need to know or use again. Unless you can convince them of the benefit to them of putting in the effort, why should they?
Tip: Explain the benefit to them and see where this takes you both.
REASON 4: THEY’RE RELUCTANT… BECAUSE
We often see people reluctant to learn, and being coached. This is often the result of feeling threatened in some way. People don’t want to look stupid or incompetent, or unskilled. Often it is the result of having a ‘Be good mindset’ and a loack of confidence.
Tip: Make the learning as comfortable as possible for them. Make learning as SAFE as possible. Make the learning private, break it down into smaller chunks, use the 5D treatment, WORLD learning channels and if you need to rebuild confidence, try using ‘Feel felt found’. Be encouraging about the process and effort they are putting in, even if the outcome is not successful.
YOU – THE COACH OR TRAINER
You don’t seem to find a way to get started
REASON 1: YOU MAY LACK CONFIDENCE
This would be a common problem. Many senior colleagues only know how to swim in their own lanes, and when asked to help others swim, they find it uncomfortable and awkward.
Tip: Start small and don’t put too many expectations on yourself.
- Try using ‘What do you think?’ when someone approaches you for an answer.
- Try a debriefing approach when your colleagues have just finished something new; ‘How did that go? What went well? Not so well? If you were going to do it again what would you do differently?’ ….. this could lead them to ask you for your advice.
- Use the ASBA approach to encouraging others
REASON 2: I’M TOO BUSY
Although coaching others requires an intent to help and maybe some forethought, it shouldn’t take a lot of time. Is this really the reason, or are you prioritising what you are comfortable doing, over coaching, which is probably uncomfortable?
Tip: Ask yourself ‘What’s in this for me? and for others? What brand do I want to build?