Do you like to be appreciated?

We coach, develop and work alongside leaders and teams to shift ideas on leadership and provide the skills and tools needed to grow teams.

Author: Phil Hartwick
First Published: 2021

OK, I’m going to start this off by saying  ‘I do!’

I like positive feedback. I like to know that my work or my relationships add value to others. That doesn’t mean I only want positive feedback, but it really helps to know that (and why) I am appreciated.

And I think all people find that genuine appreciation motivating, (even if at times little embarrasing).

Unfortunately too many people managers, or people in general fail to do this often enough.

But first let’s also consider what giving positive feedback does for the giver.

  • It builds up other people. It gives them confidence and encourages their growth which they will appreciate you for,  and that will strengthen your relationship with that person.

  • It means you inspire more of the right behaviours/actions that you want from them.

  • It feels good and reminds you that you should be role modelling what you want from others.

  • It builds a culture of appreciation making work more enjoyable and less stressful.

What is a quick and highly potent way of encouraging others?

We call this TSBT’ing (pronounced tisbitting). I would like to acknowledge Roger Tunks who gave us this technique many years ago.

1. Thanks!  First say thanks or acknowledge the person’s effort or work

2. Next be specific about what it is they did or how they did it – – it makes people wonder what your intent is when you are vague about what you are thanking them for…

3. Make sure you are clear about the benefit of what they did. Discussing the benefit has a real turbocharging effect. It helps the person see that what they have done has a positive impact on someone and means their work has real purpose or value.

4. Finish with a ‘Thanks!’

Ok, what does this sound like? Here are some quick examples:

“Keiran, when I came in early this morning, I noticed you had picked up the mess that had been left in the meeting room. I really want to thank you for doing that. I know that’s not your job, and the fact that you took it upon yourself to clean up the place made a real difference to me as I had a client meeting in there this morning. I really want to thank you for that.”

“Nadine, I ‘d like to acknowldege you for the work you did yesterday preparing me and the materials for the meeting with the Board. I would have been lost without that and our work and the team look good. So thanks again”.

So remember, do it often, be specific and don’t forget to describe the benefit, value or impact of what you are thanking someone for.

Share This